Lies to Love: Everything Happens for a Reason

Kayla Dhankhar
8 min readMar 13, 2022

While at times I found “Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved” by Kate Bowler incredibly annoying, it has stuck with me for weeks after finishing reading it. Maybe because she had the guts to say what she thinks even if they may be wildly unpopular opinions. There were some themes that I found troubling. They completely go against my own core beliefs about life and death and the medical system, but I will expand on that later. I recognize that we all have different opinions. Reading books from authors I don’t agree with gives me an excellent opportunity to grow.

I also have to acknowledge that I have never been in the exact position of the author in the book. Even if I had, I would not have her same experiences behind me. So I am doing my best to release any judgment about those views. I hope my insights from reading this memoir help me be with people in their pain instead of minimizing or looking past it. I have gained a lot of perspective by seeing Kate Bowler’s thoughts at this difficult time in her life.


In a nutshell, the author, Kate Bowler is sick. She went to doctor after doctor trying to diagnose pain in her stomach and it was ignored. When she finally got proper testing, she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer.

It’s a devastating blow made all the more frustrating by the months she has spent seeking answers and getting gaslit. She writes from the midst of her pain, so the book gives us a chance to sit in that feeling. She doesn’t offer a lot of escapes. But gives you a chance to wrestle with the pain and all the ways we suck at doing just that.

Kate Bowler also happens to be a researcher in the Prosperity Gospel. She grew up around a Canadian Mennonite tradition so she discusses these religious themes fairly regularly. I find the perspectives fascinating. They added to the experience of the story because they give us some insights into where her mindset was built. She also met a lot of people doing her research and they are the ones who show up to support her through this time.

Religious Themes

Just to clarify, I am not a religious person. But I found the religious themes interesting. They helped move the plot along. But if you are totally turned…

Kayla Dhankhar

🌟 Empowering Empaths | Energy Healer | Life Coach | Light Language Artist🌟